Sunday, April 20, 2008

”COLOR”

[:a colorful life/or a life with colors
POVs of the color-blind]

spring outside but
the mood stays trapped
well wrapped, in autumn and,
In the “right” side of my mind
the broken half of the moon
of a myriad stupid desires
is hooked to a leafless branch
of desolate quiet circumstance,
yet my smile can’t be robbed
for a zillion starry shimmers
keep croonin’ on, an antiphon,
and echo to a breath’s quivers
to keep my kindergarten whims
alive!
to the colors of spring outside!
../original/z.g.

11 comments:

  1. Zoya, have you ever read e.e. cummings? I get the feeling of that poet"s work from yours. I love "to keep my kindergarten whims
    alive! to the colors of spring outside!"

    My suggestion is to delete the word "outside." Where else could spring be but outside. Hope you don't mind my criticism... :D

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  2. "my mood stays trapped..." very nice... I know the feeling well. I agree with the teach about "outside."

    Good poem.

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  3. I'm with Mary in my appreciation of "to keep my kindergaten whims alive"--especially in contrast to the psychological tensions of the autumn frame of mind.
    Writing in Faith: Poems

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  4. I just love this one! You have produced such wonderful images.

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  5. whoa...desolate quiet circumstance. That is a zinger. You have some great images.

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  6. the teach >i value ur criticism ma'm.thanks for the help..Raven>thank U! ur opinion counts..SandyCarlson >u make the learning process easy.thank U!
    teri c>the pov of an artist!thank U!...Quiet Paths>musicians hear differently!thank U!...piacere,all of U!

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  7. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  8. Interesting thought - the mood stays wrapped in autumn, Nicely done!
    I deleted the previous comment to hide a typo! :)

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  9. You've certainly wrapped up a taut little poem here. It's all good and I like the way you've used rhyme. 'In the "right" side of my mind/the broken half of the moon/of a myriad stupid desires' - beautiful and sad.

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  10. like all your assonance of i thru here. it's got a bright quick movement to it.

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  11. I've just read your last few OSI pieces and find myself thinking of ee cummings like Mary. Each piece conveys emotional energy with vivid images ... and it's clear that you tap into 'your right brain' with your fingers provide words for what you see and sense! Marvelous!!!
    Hugs and blessings,

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..namastey!~