Saturday, September 12, 2009

thirst.osi

thirst

these breakers are granulated
wave after wave of them
sands shift like liminal spaces
primitive skeletons
question life and death
in the kalahari of existence
i play with the illusion
not to let a hope die
drinking in the mirage
in search of what is real
on the right side of the mind
i believe as you do
clear waters of the soul
flow as a brook there
what's left of the brain
remains unquenchable ..

/ original / z.g.

[ Edit :

Line 5 -form surreal images / deleted
Line 6 -questioning life and death
Line 7 - like goya's black paintings / deleted
Line 11 - going after that vision / deleted
Line 12- seeking what is real
Line 18 -what's left of my mind ]

17 comments:

  1. Oh, to find that brook and drink that desert might become a pure sea to satisfy the soul.

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  2. "the kalahari of existence" Wow, what a line!

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  3. Granulated..

    Indeed.

    inside, outside, which side

    Please don't forget to post your creative works at Monday Poetry Train Revisited too each Monday morning!

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  4. "i play with the illusion
    not to let a hope die"

    well said..!

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  5. ahhh ... thanks for quenching my thirst. I enjoyed drinking this in.

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  6. Indeed our brain seeks a quenching which may be exploited in so many places wearing so many faces.

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  7. dear zoya--
    you are so clever--
    the left brain is unquenchable--
    the right brain never thirsty--

    great work--

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  8. you are such an intelligent writer

    i love your work

    shraddha

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  9. there is such a strong play of varying realities in our lives.... hope, mirage, illusions, clear waters of the soul. Wonderful poem.

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  10. This is excellent work. I love where you've taken this prompt. Im glad I stopped in.

    Hugs, G

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  11. the dry images in your words are perfectly suited to this prompt.

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  12. Oh, my. This is beautiful, beautiful!

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  13. so much to like in this poem, but my favorite line is "sands shift like liminal spaces." I envision watching the dunes straining to see the imperceptible movement.

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  14. I love this poem...the imagery is so rich. I just love the lines "i play with the illusion
    not to let a hope die
    drinking in the mirage
    in search of what is real"

    I keep searching...

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  15. Sorry, I really should learn to type. Sometimes my mind works faster then my fingers. LOL

    Such deep words and images. My we all drink of the living water before we are called. Well done.
    Love-Melanie-bhd

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  16. Great write Zoya. "drinking in the mirage...in search of what is real" so true and clear thoughts.

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..namastey!~