an old clock's crackled nagging raps
on sleepy slumbering eyelids
wakes up the transience of dawn
rushes through breakfast runs to school
a spherical ball this globe small
in the playground watches it roll
but what was bouncier,the ball
her wild spirit or that girl
the mystery never unfurls
on the dreamy way back from school
the orange traveler above
becomes her lovely firefly
which she must prepare to catch
in her grand ma's butterfly net
for her cool digital scrapbook
and therefore the stupid sun
who's also her hooky playmate
is playing hide and seek with her
a day in her bag,homeward bound
the happy lil' girl hops around
in dusk's magic evanescence
but still the sun is on the run
to hide or seek another one
another place,another time
another school,reverberates
with laughter,kids teeter totter
in what looks like the same planet
the kid girl-civilization
the sun her inspiration
../original/z.g.
[ ED - a childhood flame that still does burn!]
Saturday, June 14, 2008
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15 comments:
I enjoy the way objects change size and form as the day (life) progresses through your poem. The constant movement underlines the pace at which life moves. Well done. Thanks.
Writing in Faith: Poems
From your opening line you had my interest captivated. I enjoy the way the role of the sun throughout highlights the transience of the day. Lovely.
nature tales and camera trails
The other school at the end might as well be the same school 40 years later as the same scene plays itself out again. I loved this!
Wonderful reflection on how transience and permanence flow together across time
Delightful
Lots of wonderful imagery. I like the line about the "stupid sun" and the "orange travler" who "becomes her firefly!" Well done!
That last line pulls it all together with what was a really nice surprise to me, but maybe it shouldn't have been given all the ongoing changes. :-) Fascinating weaving of unusual imagery throughout.
the time & space of childhood perfectly captured...i felt like i was walking in memories!
This poem is so light-hearted and fun. You captured the transience of the sun perfectly and playfully!
I really like your first line. . .it caught my attention immediately. This poem has such a childish cheerfulness about it.
What a wonderful series!
an adventure in the day of... related as if a dream.. the flame that still burns... awesome...
"a day in her bag..." I loved that! JP/deb
ah, the permanence of transience
..i always look forward eagerly to Ur Comments..Many Thanks
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