' mundanity '
a puny sun trots on paper skies
that squelching on the slush
laughs with the gurgle
of a washing machine ,
thoughts of antibiotics
mingle with the school-time rush ,
with the white and yellow ,
give the omelette a tan ,
and talk of the summer ,
under a cloud's doodle
moms' daily artwork
alive and kicking ..
/original/z.g. (dec10.2008.wed)
[embarrassed with the protracted stupidity of my original entry, transferred "here' (the brave can click 'here' to see it), felt i had to edit it & try to be less punishing on the reader(s)/regret the inconvenience caused]
{ Re- Ed :- / dec 18.2009.fri
- Line 6 :- and school are whipped up
- Line 8 :- the tan on the omelette
- Line 9 :- talks of the summer }
wonderful capture of "everyday an artwork"!
ReplyDeleteThis turns everything into art. Loved it.
ReplyDeleteDear ZG--
ReplyDelete'Alive and kicking' indeed!
So honor how you see your world--I look forward to it every week!
Thank you...
Let's hear it for everyday artwork--and for your wonderful poem!
ReplyDeleteWonderful art words!
ReplyDeleteExactly how the mind works! Good poem.
ReplyDelete"under a clouds' doodle" is my favorite lines, I do like the different arrays of thoughts coming and going
ReplyDeleteThis feels very familiar; yet new and fresh. Nice job here!
ReplyDeleteI love the way this takes off on a flight of fancy from the childlike drawing of a sun in the first line. My favourite lines are 'this tan on the omelette/talks of summer' because it pulled me up and made me think.
ReplyDelete..Many Thanks To All of U..
ReplyDeleteHi Zoya, I came last night. After reading both posts I decided to come back this morning to read some more. I liked both versions, there is more for our interpretation in the second.
ReplyDeleteMy interpretation is of a young person, perhaps still a child, who has many different memory reflections of Mom coming out in his/her doodles? Am I close?
Thank you for posting these, they have been fun reading. :-)
..