Sunday, December 7, 2008

doodles. (osi)

' mundanity '

a puny sun trots on paper skies
that squelching on the slush
laughs with the gurgle
of a washing machine ,
thoughts of antibiotics
mingle with the school-time rush ,
with the white and yellow ,
give the omelette a tan ,
and talk of the summer ,
under a cloud's doodle
moms' daily artwork
alive and kicking ..

/original/z.g. (dec10.2008.wed)


[embarrassed with the protracted stupidity of my original entry, transferred "here' (the brave can click 'here' to see it), felt i had to edit it & try to be less punishing on the reader(s)/regret the inconvenience caused]

{ Re- Ed :- / dec 18.2009.fri
- Line 6 :- and school are whipped up
- Line 8 :- the tan on the omelette
- Line 9 :- talks of the summer }

11 comments:

  1. wonderful capture of "everyday an artwork"!

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  2. This turns everything into art. Loved it.

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  3. Dear ZG--

    'Alive and kicking' indeed!

    So honor how you see your world--I look forward to it every week!

    Thank you...

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  4. Let's hear it for everyday artwork--and for your wonderful poem!

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  5. Exactly how the mind works! Good poem.

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  6. "under a clouds' doodle" is my favorite lines, I do like the different arrays of thoughts coming and going

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  7. This feels very familiar; yet new and fresh. Nice job here!

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  8. I love the way this takes off on a flight of fancy from the childlike drawing of a sun in the first line. My favourite lines are 'this tan on the omelette/talks of summer' because it pulled me up and made me think.

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  9. Hi Zoya, I came last night. After reading both posts I decided to come back this morning to read some more. I liked both versions, there is more for our interpretation in the second.
    My interpretation is of a young person, perhaps still a child, who has many different memory reflections of Mom coming out in his/her doodles? Am I close?
    Thank you for posting these, they have been fun reading. :-)
    ..

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..namastey!~