Sunday, December 28, 2008

stardust .(osi)

' breathing in the dust ' ..

an arctic of loneliness
the mystical grief of hills
separation a desert
but a merger is the sea

trees of yearning rise and sway
fondness in field and fallow
with stardust in earthen eyes
touches the gaze of the moon ..

/original/z.g.

[ Ed : Line 5 _ trees of desire rise and sway ]
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22 comments:

  1. SandyCarlsonDecember 28, 2008 at 4:35 AM

    I imagine the trees reaching up to touch those stars, and I sense magic in the vast world you describe.

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  2. AnonymousDecember 28, 2008 at 4:40 AM

    What a scene these words paint!

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  3. Beth P.December 28, 2008 at 10:05 AM

    Dear zoya--
    You took stardust in such a different direction--a romantic you are!

    Really liked how you had stardust be the magic that allows the eyes to see...

    Many thanks--

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  4. Geraldine December 28, 2008 at 10:18 AM

    You've done a brilliant job, interpreting this prompt Zoya, bravo!!!!

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  5. lissaDecember 28, 2008 at 11:09 AM

    I imagine someone reaching out but feeling too far away, like the moon, unreachable

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  6. anthonynorthDecember 28, 2008 at 11:11 AM

    A beautiful, almost fairytale scene conjured up here. Marvellous.

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  7. sgreerpittDecember 28, 2008 at 12:50 PM

    the first line is so perfect -- an arctic of loneliness!

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  8. RavenDecember 28, 2008 at 1:12 PM

    the mystical grief of hills... wonderful...

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  9. Quiet PathsDecember 28, 2008 at 7:21 PM

    This is good. I really love this line: the mystical grief of hills - wow! Sadness and magic together...

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  10. gautami tripathyDecember 29, 2008 at 7:10 AM

    loved that second line. TRuly wonderful..

    playing for pleasing the moon

    And please do visit Poetry Train being run each Monday!

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  11. Beth P.December 29, 2008 at 8:26 AM

    Hi z--
    I woke up this morning thinking about your poem, had to come back for another read.

    Don't know how to say this...but I hope you are ok? No matter what you feel, you're so close to a breakthough of consciousness, that we who are removed from you can feel it...

    Just wanted to say that--apologies if it feels weird to to you!

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  12. zoya gautamDecember 29, 2008 at 10:13 AM

    hi beth,
    i'm warmed by ur thoughtfulness & am ok!
    thank u sounds inept but have to..

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  13. Tumblewords:December 29, 2008 at 12:51 PM

    (Sorry. This may be a second comment.) I love the magical feel of this and the depth which brings thought to the heart!

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  14. Linda JacobsDecember 29, 2008 at 5:57 PM

    I like how you mention all the earthly things like hills and fields, etc. in unique and clever ways!

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  15. MelodyDecember 30, 2008 at 6:12 PM

    I have to read your poem over and over and still it takes me away. Truly magical!

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  16. Patois42December 31, 2008 at 8:45 AM

    Brilliant! Love the personalization of Earth. Truly, this is wonderful.

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  17. zoya gautamDecember 31, 2008 at 12:43 PM

    ..deeply thankful to everyone of u-
    best wishes for a very happy new year!..

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  18. JimDecember 31, 2008 at 3:57 PM

    Hi Zoya, this (2nd) is a wonder recipe for feeling high as the moon. Desire, fondness, and a little stardust will do it every time.
    It may even turn to love.

    Thanks for the nice send off,
    HAPPY NEW YEAR 2009 *^_^*
    :-)
    ..

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  19. AnonymousJanuary 3, 2009 at 4:47 PM

    I get from this a deep desire of the earth--and the things of earth--for the stars, the moon perhaps? A wanting to come full circle?

    It's very lovely, even if I did misinterpret!

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  20. AnonymousJanuary 4, 2009 at 6:16 AM

    There's an earthbound quality to this. i like that you've taken the prompt in a different direction.

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  21. mardeJanuary 4, 2009 at 11:18 AM

    Rich imagery, resonant with mystery! Love the last stanza, the sense of relationship, even in loneliness - in particular, the phrase that got to me was 'fallow with stardust in earthen eyes/ touches the gaze of the moon'. The sense of the mutuality of awareness in gaze. Lovely!

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  22. GelJanuary 5, 2009 at 1:56 AM

    lovely imagery

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..namastey!~

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