Saturday, September 12, 2009

thirst.osi

thirst

these breakers are granulated
wave after wave of them
sands shift like liminal spaces
primitive skeletons
question life and death
in the kalahari of existence
i play with the illusion
not to let a hope die
drinking in the mirage
in search of what is real
on the right side of the mind
i believe as you do
clear waters of the soul
flow as a brook there
what's left of the brain
remains unquenchable ..

/ original / z.g.

[ Edit :

Line 5 -form surreal images / deleted
Line 6 -questioning life and death
Line 7 - like goya's black paintings / deleted
Line 11 - going after that vision / deleted
Line 12- seeking what is real
Line 18 -what's left of my mind ]

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17 comments:

  1. SandyCarlsonSeptember 13, 2009 at 4:07 AM

    Oh, to find that brook and drink that desert might become a pure sea to satisfy the soul.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Linda JacobsSeptember 13, 2009 at 5:17 AM

    "the kalahari of existence" Wow, what a line!

    ReplyDelete
  3. gautami tripathySeptember 13, 2009 at 5:55 AM

    Granulated..

    Indeed.

    inside, outside, which side

    Please don't forget to post your creative works at Monday Poetry Train Revisited too each Monday morning!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sandra.ifSeptember 13, 2009 at 7:10 AM

    "i play with the illusion
    not to let a hope die"

    well said..!

    ReplyDelete
  5. Amias (ljm and liquidplastic)September 13, 2009 at 8:16 AM

    ahhh ... thanks for quenching my thirst. I enjoyed drinking this in.

    ReplyDelete
  6. MaggieSeptember 13, 2009 at 9:10 AM

    Indeed our brain seeks a quenching which may be exploited in so many places wearing so many faces.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Beth P.September 13, 2009 at 8:27 PM

    dear zoya--
    you are so clever--
    the left brain is unquenchable--
    the right brain never thirsty--

    great work--

    ReplyDelete
  8. AnonymousSeptember 13, 2009 at 10:11 PM

    you are such an intelligent writer

    i love your work

    shraddha

    ReplyDelete
  9. Tammie LeeSeptember 14, 2009 at 8:34 AM

    there is such a strong play of varying realities in our lives.... hope, mirage, illusions, clear waters of the soul. Wonderful poem.

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  10. AnonymousSeptember 14, 2009 at 8:43 AM

    This is excellent work. I love where you've taken this prompt. Im glad I stopped in.

    Hugs, G

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  11. zoya gautamSeptember 14, 2009 at 12:22 PM

    .. many thanks ..

    ReplyDelete
  12. qualcosa di belloSeptember 14, 2009 at 6:12 PM

    the dry images in your words are perfectly suited to this prompt.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Tumblewords:September 14, 2009 at 7:36 PM

    Oh, my. This is beautiful, beautiful!

    ReplyDelete
  14. sgreerpittSeptember 17, 2009 at 1:38 PM

    so much to like in this poem, but my favorite line is "sands shift like liminal spaces." I envision watching the dunes straining to see the imperceptible movement.

    ReplyDelete
  15. PattiSeptember 17, 2009 at 6:18 PM

    I love this poem...the imagery is so rich. I just love the lines "i play with the illusion
    not to let a hope die
    drinking in the mirage
    in search of what is real"

    I keep searching...

    ReplyDelete
  16. Cassiopeia RisesSeptember 18, 2009 at 7:49 AM

    Sorry, I really should learn to type. Sometimes my mind works faster then my fingers. LOL

    Such deep words and images. My we all drink of the living water before we are called. Well done.
    Love-Melanie-bhd

    ReplyDelete
  17. AnonymousSeptember 20, 2009 at 7:39 PM

    Great write Zoya. "drinking in the mirage...in search of what is real" so true and clear thoughts.

    ReplyDelete

..namastey!~

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